Tokyo Ghoul Investigator
by he who watches the world burn
Summary: Adopted by Arima after the death of his family at the hands of ghouls, Kaneki Ken grows up with The CCG's God of Death as a mentor and father figure. Revenge his only goal in life, ghouls nothing more than therapeutic prey, and music and books his only escape, will a pretty young waitress he met a cafe turn his life around? And will his new (unwanted) partner dampen his style?
1. Chapter 1

Tokyo Ghoul **Investigator**

 **AN: Disclaimer: I own nothing. Tokyo Ghoul is owned by Sui Ishida. This is my first TK fanfiction and this is mostly an experiment I plot-bunnied after listening to music while watching Tokyo Ghoul.**

 **So to give those songs credit I highly recommend these songs as Kaneki in my AU is fluent in both Japanese and English who likes Japanese books and literature but loves songs in English. Being a literature student, it fits according to a literature student I know.**

 **Devils Never Cry**

 **This is Gonna Hurt by Six AM**

 **Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance**

 **Perfect by Simple Plan**

 **Take Me to Church by Hozier**

 **Great songs that have helped me write this story, I highly recommend them if you haven't heard of them already.**

* * *

Chapter 1: A Devil in the Church.

"Devils never cry." A lone figure watching the skyline says to his phone's microphone, the song tittle he says plays loudly on his bluetooth headset and the gothic intro starts, a fitting song for such a night.

The night skyline of Tokyo City is whole galaxy of artificial light. A light that overpowered the stars above, for Tokyo is a city, and cities like her symbolize mankind's dominance over nature itself.

But humans aren't the only occupants of this concrete metropolis.

Ghouls roamed and hunted where the lights don't shine. Some attack alone, going for weak who wander to far or too close in their so-called territories. For in this world, only ghouls are homeless.

Some ghouls however don't operate alone. Some travel in groups, packs or gangs who control entire wards for the feeding.

But in the 5th Ward an entire organization is taking root.

A religion of ghouls if you could believe it.

Some holy order that originated in a Europe, allot like the Catholic Church but instead of communion they actually do hand out flesh and blood.

The Church was known as the Blood and Flesh of Christ. A fanatic cult hidden by a veil of peaceful worship, they worship Jesus Christ as their lord and savior- wait for it- to all ghouls and believers.

Apparently the religion revolves around the (crack) theory that Jesus Christ was the first ghoul, which they claimed explained his miracles, and he and his disciple were also ghouls.

The story goes that during the last supper when Jesus Christ offered bread and wine to his disciples and telling them that they were his blood and flesh, respectively. The cult took those verses literally, saying that Christ offered his disciples parts of his body to consume…

The cult believes that Jesus Christ was teaching ghouls the way to be rid of ghouls' need for humans and solving their need to feed all at once, by ghoul having volunteer to have their parts of eaten so that others may eat.

Being an atheist, the investigator watching the service was just thankful there wasn't any mayonnaise at that messed up dinner.

Right before a cage full of screaming children was being moved to the stage by the ghoul equivalent of altar boys, they were kidnapped from their homes by loyal ghouls wanting to serve the church.

They were this week's communion wine and bread.

An elderly male ghoul walks to the stage, the warehouse they used was old and abandoned but had an elevated concrete stage perfect for ritual sacrifices and sermons. The ghoul dressed in impressive garbs was a bishop, the new head of the Japanese branch of the cult. He was old and wrinkly, but plump and full of life, his kind eyes hiding the disgusting monster beneath. He speaks and his sheep listen. He tells them of their demented story, of ghoul's superiority, and preaching about peace among ghouls, and the other messages they wish to shove up people's throat.

The investigator watching from on-high had to turn up the volume of his head phones to drown the service out, just to stop himself from falling asleep.

The cult's teachings weren't popular, but they soon spread thanks to the help of an unknown sponsor. Drawing in weak mind ghouls wanting to belong; now they've been expanding from Europe to some Asian countries.

Japan would not be one of those countries.

The bishop takes out a ceremonial knife, showing all the tool he will use to slit the children's throats, after they all pray to their god. The children are covered with a blanket, then sedated, praying is best when done in silence.

One little girl no older than three is picked and placed on a table, the rest are wheeled to the side.

"Now let us pray."

A cloaked figure falls from above, as though an angel from above to spread the message of their god, which belied his harsher purpose.

As he lands, the bishop opens his eyes from praying, only to see a muzzle of a gun.

"…bang…" the cloaked figure whispers right as he squeezes the trigger that sends a single Q-bullet that ends the bishop's life.

At that moment all hell breaks loose.

The sound of the gunshot rocks the place of worship into a frenzy of panic. The ghouls thought they were safe in these walls, that the cult would protect them.

Still on top of the stage, the cloaked figured turns to face the crowd believers, his face covered by the arch-bishop's blood, plunging fear into their hearts as no ghoul in the entire city of Tokyo did not know the face of the Kaneki Ken; the Child of Death.

' _Look at them go…'_ they quickly, even hilariously try to flee. Forgetting the so-called divine protection they were promised after for saying a few prayers.

Too bad Kaneki knew that was going to happen and planted a few traps on all the exits. He even hears one of them go off.

A quick glance to the side of the building told him, not everyone was a runner. An entire row of guards suddenly came to the realization that their boss just got killed.

"Your Eminence!" the only guard without a mask screams, from the looks of him, Kaneki could tell he was a the leader of security or Captain of the Guards. Proving the captain's significance and rank, the other ghouls follow his lead, they were hell-bent on saving- avenging their precious bishop.

"Kill the dove!"

Kaneki loves that name, despite the apparent derogation it seemed to be laced with, it was a pleasant tittle given his rather _violent_ line of work.

Kaneki holsters his handgun Shironeki, his quinque hadn't been used in a while now. Reaching behind him he grips the cold jagged metal handle of his broadsword Muhon.

Unlike most investigators, Kaneki rarely stores his quinque in an attaché case when traveling to the battle. He simply attaches it on is back using a magnetic and organic coupling sheath he created imitating the style the United States branch of CCG employs.

Other than looking cool, being strapped on his back was functional as Muhon wasn't like most quinque, a more accurate description would be that Muhon wasn't a exactly a quinque but a sword with a quinque for a blade.

Without so much as a second to fully draw his weapon, a ghoul guard strikes with his rinkaku tentacles, Kaneki dashes to the side, letting the tentacle hit the ground, Kaneki unsheathes his quinque and slashes the ghoul from behind right were the kagune and body meet. The ghoul disarmed, with a twist, Kaneki cuts across the ghoul's body.

 _One down._

"Protect His Eminence!" Protect his corpse would be the more possible order to give.

 _An entire cult to go_

Kaneki was surrounded, they outnumbered him. Too bad numbers were their only advantage. Not missing a single beat, they attack all at once, kagunes drawn.

Letting his training take over, Kaneki hits **HARD.**

With a swing of his sword, he parries their blows, creating sparks as his quinx steel blade meets liquid muscle. Knocking their blows to the side, even going so far as to tangle them in their own attacks.

With them off balance, Kaneki seizes the moment, and sends a ghoul flying with a kick. The ghoul impacts the wooden chairs with enough force that splinters blanket that area.

He swings his sword in a wide downward arc, trying to decapitate an approaching ghoul, only to have it blocked back.

An opportunist goes for a back stab, only to have his koukaku meet sword edge instead of skin. Kaneki realizes he may be cutting it close, so he holds nothing back and kicks the ghoul from behind and sends him flying into a another ghoul.

He planned to do that, totally.

Admiring his work too much, Kaneki fails to see he's surrounded again. Though this time their spacing seems more randomized than before.

Hatching a dumb idea, Kaneki parries a blow from the ghoul closest to him, stepping to the side the ghoul over steps, Kaneki gets behind him, and pulls him by his shoulder, with the ghoul now facing him, Kaneki's quinque pierces through the ghouls abdomen like handle through a hammer's metal head.

Taking inspiration from old-school anime, Kaneki lifts his sword up along with the ghoul and brings him down, right on top of the ghoul behind him. Turning his sword into a hammer, and the ghoul he stabbed as the hammer's face.

Upon the realization that his tactic is actually working, Kaneki swings his sword wide, using the ghoul and the ghoul's released kagune to strike at three more ghouls before the accumulated blood made the ghoul slide out and hit the stage wall.

That might have been the craziest way to kill a ghoul in CCG history. If only he recorded it, the boys back at the office are never going to believe this. Distracted with thoughts of being an internet sensation overnight, Kaneki narrowly avoid a ghoul lunging at him with his kagune.

He was really getting distracted tonight. Kaneki knew better, being distracted would get him killed eventually. He thinks calmly, purposely and reignites his focus, face grew blank and even soulless eyes came.

Tilting to the side, Kaneki wastes no energy in dodging the predatory organ.

Ghoul's these days think a bigger kagune means better, making them overcompensate and put too much weight that they can't control and become of balanced.

While the ghoul tried to regain his balance, Kaneki already cut off his legs. A killing blow would be better under normal circumstances, but it will have to do.

An exhausted guard dashes to one the little girl on the altar, looking for a snack that he believed would replenish his RC count enough to stand a fighting chance.

Trigger finger itching, and believing his other handgun was being neglected, Kaneki draws his left handgun; Kuroeneki. Instincts and practice letting him aim and fire in less than a span of a second. And…

BANG! The room and his ears rang. Headshot.

The hungry guard's hungry mouth still agape as a bullet leaves a 3-inch hole in his brain. Ah, the wonders of hollow-points.

Kaneki spares no time in pushing the girl out of the way, kicking her table to the side with the others. He glares into the holy guards eyes and dares them to touch even a single hair on their heads.

They take the hint.

Now since both of his guns had one shot each, Kaneki holsters his gun's white twin, wanting to do things the old fashion way. He learned to love guns sometime after a trip to the United States, their Anti-Ghoul forces were different than the CCG of Japan and Germany.

In the US, guns are the predominant weapon of exterminating ghouls, civilians were not only allowed but were also encouraged to buy ghoul effective firearms in case of a ghoul attack, and most of the quinque they manufacture were able to transform into guns, a hybrid of a melee weapon and gun. A corporate secret they prefer to keep to themselves.

Kaneki, being his impressionable self, grew to like the feeling of using firearms, making the Investigator or Ghoul Hunter (as they were called in the US and Canada) in charge of Kaneki's batch of exchange students grow to like the young man's love for his cultural and offered him a pair of American Style Kagune Handguns as a sign of friendship between Japan and the US. They fired ukaku like shards of q-bullets and never need reloading so long as they receive a weekly refuel of RC cells.

The white handgun, Shironeki was built for quick draws and rapid firing, Kaneki thought of adding a 3-round burst-mode but he'd need back to America for that. His left-handed, black, timid twin brother Kuroneki was designed for comfort in mind and modified for long-distance targeting.

Both Shironeki and Kuroneki are in the style of Colt 1911s, though only Kuroneki retained the .45 ACP caliber and Shironeki firing off faster and lighter 5.7 bullets, the standard for Japanese q-bullets.

Kaneki shoots several directions simultaneously, the ghouls who've come to grow use to having bullets bounce off them get a taste of American fire power first hand. The guards scramble, abandoning their formations in fear of just becoming a bigger target.

Thinking on his feet, Kaneki just switches targets, a few ghouls who've come to worship are now on his guns glow-sights, he riddles them with bullets.

At least on guard feels obligated to protect them, thinking going in close would stop Kaneki's shooting spree, he goes in from behind, thinking Kaneki would be too preoccupied to notice him.

Kaneki shots him down without as much as a glance; eyes at the back of his was the first thing he had to learn from his dear-old dad.

He plants a foot down on the enemy he knocked over, and holds him in place while he riddles him with a barrage of bullets, then kicks the battered body aside as he fires off some more rounds, red streams of death eliminating the runners with zero mercy.

The gunslinger holsters his guns, realizing that he's using up too much of their RC cells. With only two real threats left, Kaneki unclasps Muhon for hopefully the last time tonight.

The quinque sword is a taunt in itself, telling the reaming _Holy_ Guards that he was going to kill them on their terms.

Two more masked ghouls want a piece of him, literally.

Kaneki had a reason for challenging them to close-range, both of their kagunes were of the Ukaku-variant. He subdues a frown, remembering the last time he faced an ukaku kagune.

Speed was never Kaneki's strong suit, with a heavy-broadsword of a quinque; Kaneki is a strength-based fighter, he excelled in fast power attacks, tight and efficient defense with quick counters.

Good for plowing through the heavy defense of Koukaku ghouls, on-par with the dedicated offense of a Rinkaku ghoul, and even able to counter the jack-of-all-trades of most Bikaku ghouls.

But his flat-footed style had problems against the acrobatic and long-ranged style that was the fastest of all the kagune types. With high mobility against his stagnant approach, even a single Ukaku ghoul could literally dance around him.

Now he was facing two of them. He had to take them out first and before the other ghouls monopolize on his lack of mobility.

He remained calm, he knew of his disadvantage, but it wasn't an insult to say that _they_ didn't know of his disadvantage.

One ukaku ghoul fires a volley of shards, the other jumps high at his side. Death from afar and above: an attack on two sides. This tactic would always work on newer and less experienced investigators.

But now it's become a recurring joke to the Child of Death.

Kaneki crouches down and hides behind the flat of his blade, shards bouncing off as the machine gun fire of shards continue, but as the ghoul above descends closer-

Kaneki rises up like a piston, stabbing the ghoul and with one fluid motion, then uses places him between himself and the remaining ghoul. This time instead of a hammer, Kaneki uses the poor creature like an umbrella against a hose.

By the looks of the ghoul impaled on his sword, a pincushion would be a more appropriate description.

Safe from the ukaku shards fired at him, Kaneki makes a dash towards the ghoul, using a ghoul once again. Breaking the distance, Kaneki stabs his weapon through the ghoul and now two were impaled on his sword.

Without the time to marvel and add a third ghoul, Kaneki holds his sword firmly with both hands and pulls it out. In the same smooth motion, cuts the legs of the ghoul behind him, another sneak-attack gone horribly wrong.

Without a second's delay and before the ghoul could even fall to the ground, a diagonal slash decapitates the ghoul's head clean from its body.

Remembering to never stop a weapons movement to maximize power, Kaneki follows up his next attack on another ghoul. After blocking the ghoul's initial kagune attack, Kaneki twists his body to stand directly beside the ghoul, his sword's edge on his neck, and then twists slitting the ghouls throat and for added assurance, he decapitates the ghoul's head on the same spin, another dead ghoul to add to the mass grave known as his merits.

It's the hoodless one he was really after, while the rest were slightly above average ghouls, Kaneki was savy enough to know that the unique looking ghoul without a hood covering his face was probably a few tiers higher and a better challenge.

Scanning the room, he finds that the boss still hadn't left his original position. Either he's the cowardly type who waits for his underlings to weaken his opponent and steals the killing blow and all the glory to himself or he's the tactical type who studies his opponent and let's his underlings tire them long enough to give him an advantage.

Either way, it was the same thing, really.

Kaneki makes short work of the last of the guards, he swiftly executed two in quick succession and brutalizes one of them so that the other would run and turn his back; a perfect target for his twin handguns. The ghoul falls to the ground, back riddled with Q-bullets a few meters in front of the captain's shoes.

The last reaming guard to his Eminence lay crawling to his captain, pleading for help that will never come and for mercy Kaneki will never give.

But wanting to taunt the Captain further, Kaneki gets on one knee and pulls the ghoul to face him, or to be more specific to face Muhon's wide tip. Plunging the blade through the ghouls chest, he removes it with a twist but not before getting a good scream out of him.

Just from the determined scowl on the boss-without-minions, the young ghoul investigator could tell he was finally going to get a decent fight.

Feeling honorable tonight, Kaneki steps back, leaving the center of the stage to give the leader of the Holy Guards equal footing; it was both an act of fairness and a simple show of confidence.

The captain of the guards steps to the stage, looking unyielding and unstoppable with his bulky size and strong stature, if ghouls could join the military, Kaneki would have thought this man was a soldier at some point in his life.

"You'll pay for this dove!" he proudly proclaims, releasing his kagune, which as fate would have it, two powerful bat-like ukaku wings.

The lit. student in Kaneki looks unimpressed at the captain's clichéd choice of words, originality was terribly lacking in ghouls. "Sorry, payday's tomorrow."

A split second later he unleashes a storm of shards, thin yet fast, like a pin factory suddenly erupted or a porcupine spontaneous exploded.

Despite the deadly sight approaching him, Kaneki was still unimpressed.

Activating his quinque's special function, Kaneki outstretches his arm towards the horizontal rain of shards, taking precaution to keep the blade as far away from him as possible; the safest course of action when your sword turns into a buzz saw.

The sword spins vertically on its edge with such a speed that it not only deflects the ukaku shards coming at him, but creating a temporary gust of wind around Kaneki's feet.

Shards break, miss, and even get deflected back to their caster's general direction.

This wouldn't have worked against multiple opponents as this made him incapable of dodging, defending or even moving. But now it was just the two of them, one-on-one had always been Kaneki's preferred method.

Stripped of his greatest weapon, the captain rushes forward, expecting the usual feeble physique of a teenager, only to be shocked as he was met head on with the strength of an investigator.

Kaneki stares down at him for a brief second, before retaliating. The Captain was stunned, never had he met such power from any human, investigator or otherwise.

He took a step back, lashing out to defend himself.

Kaneki only pushes forward, warding of the blow to deliver his own. His sword strikes practically dominating the Captain's kagune.

 _What the hell is this guy?_ The Captain found himself thinking, after one to many close calls to certain- and very painful- death.

He fought harder, but no matter how much he seemed to gain, the dove never seemed to strain himself. Mild concentration seemed to be facial expression the Child of Death seemed fit to wear against him and nothing more.

Not liking the close-proximity, the ghoul captain jumps high, reaching nearly four meters of air. Never has he been thankful for ghoul biology.

A second or less before raining down shards on the investigator, the impossible happens.

Kaneki, without the assistance of anything other than his own two legs, jumps to equal or even greater height than the ghoul. With a spin, Kaneki brings his sword down- and the ghoul captain along with it.

The concrete stage cracks beneath the captain's descent; along with the broken bones, the captain also had a large gash on his shoulder his healing factor had to deal with.

If he had the time to heal, that is.

Not wanting to take chances, Kaneki rains down bullets into the ghoul, guns pointed to the ground as his feet were on the air as though suspended with wire.

The rapid fire bursts of Shironeki coupled with the long-range power of Kuroeneki make short work of the captain.

Somersaulting to land, he holsters his trusty handguns, no longer bothering to worry about their ammo reserves at this point.

Dragging his sword toward the captain for the killing blow, he drags the weapons edge against ground, his reasons being that it was scary, that the sound of a blade being dragged across the concrete sends terror into his enemies' hearts.

For he learned long ago that fear is a weapon you must always take the opportunity to exploit.

One attack remained of the ghoul captain's life; he was worth at least a B-rank, or maybe an A. His kagune, though not impressive was still quite large and there has been a shortage of Ukaku-type quinque.

Kaneki takes aim with his sword, having trouble choosing how to end it.

Decapitation was a safe choice, yet his custom shoes were surprisingly clean. Stabbing through the chest was also a great choice, nothing could go wrong with that, but Kaneki with experience, the ghoul's chest was already a mess. Kaneki could always shoot him in the head, it seemed appropriate, he needed to diversify his executions but it would be anti-climactic to fire and only to find out he was out of ammo, he hadn't been counting his shots at all tonight, and let's not forget how awkward it is to reload while holding a sword.

Knowing death was certain, the captain with nothing left to loose, delivers his last blow. His throat was both rough and on damp with blood, he opens his mouth and says.

"So was Arima busy, junior?"

At those words, Kaneki decided the correct way to execute this ghoul would be to ruin a perfectly good shoe- BY STOMPING THE FUCKER'S SKULL INTO THE GROUND.

Finally able to let the exhaustion show, Kaneki leans back on the podium and falls slowly into a sitting position, completely out of breath and in need of a good song.

"Siri, play Perfect by Simple Plan."

The song fills Kaneki's mind for a bit, the warehouse being so void of sound the song could be faintly heard across the room even though the volume was set to medium. The young man mouths to the lyrics, never has a song truly represented him so perfectly. Then a ghoul gets back up and Kaneki was forced to ruin the song by firing his gun one last time.

After deciding the moment was gone, Kaneki scavenges for shoes his size, after remembering he can't walk around the city after completely ruining the soles of his shoe trying to bury the ghoul captain's through concrete. He finds footwear salvation in the form of expensive Italian leather.

The bishop's taste was a little too fancy, but Kaneki didn't have the right to complain, he'll just have to explain to his bosses why he left the main target barefoot tomorrow.

But the night was still young, and though he may deny it sometimes, so was he. Right as the CCG arrived to clean up his mess and bring the children back to their families; he was briefly debriefed and given the medical clearance to go home.

Kaneki ran for the next ride to his apartment, bringing flowers with him. (Just don't ask how hard it was to get a bouquet at this time of night.)

He knocks on the door, then knocked on his own head realizing she wouldn't be up at this hour. Using his key, Kaneki goes into the kitchen to find his dinner wrapped in microwave wrap.

He whispers thanks to the sleeping form on the chair. She must've waited for him so they could have dinner together. Kaneki felt like the worst, only a month in, and he was already breaking promises and coming home late.

Give him a case, he'd solve it. Give him a deadline on a report he'll finish it. Give him writer's block and he'll push through it. Give him a SS-rank ghoul on the rampage and he'll turn it into a quinque, not even a hint of fear.

But give him a ring on his finger and he'll suck at every aspect of married life. Being only in his early twenties didn't help either.

The ring still felt weird on him, the thing bothered him most when in a fight, how it always felt awkward when the ring would slip of his finger and dig into Muhon. The other investigators said it would go away in three months, but still Kaneki wasn't sure he'd ever get used to it.

Any of it.

When did his life just become happy?

* * *

 **-FOURTEEN MONTHS AGO-**

Once a week Kaneki and Arima get together to do the closest thing they have to father-and-son bonding.

Sparring.

Though they were the closest either one had left to a family, they still battled fiercely like bitter enemies, holding nothing back and enjoying the injuries they inflicted on one another.

More than 5 clashes occur per second, the two master swordsmen strike at each other with so little time that and at such little space. Not even a single raindrop would pass between the two unharmed.

Their quarter-staves clash and lock. As no two quinque were shaped the same way, quarter staves were used, playing the roles of sword, staves, and even spears that are familiar in any warrior's hands. The polymer-wood practice weapons crack under their monstrous strength.

"No."

"It's not up to me, Ken."

And their weapons unlocked, the short break was all they needed and they soon returned to their contest. The conversation wouldn't wait for one of them to loose.

"A partner would slow me down. You should know that better." Kaneki switches his style a bit, the two handed kendo style he used hardly did anything but prove a target practice for Arima, who swatted his blows.

He goes for a more-agile, less flat footed style, closely resembling fencing, and dodging Arima's attacks instead of meeting them.

Arima noted the one-handed style Kaneki was using and is less than deterred. "You didn't slow me down."

Kaneki only grew more determined to land a hit. He was killing ghouls before he went through puberty, and with Arima as your legal guardian growing up, the latter was more of a challenge as the former mostly consisted of him drawing the ghoul's attention or distracting them so Arima could take them out.

They seemed to gain some twisted pleasure in their fighting, almost an outlet from some unsaid animosity towards one another. Whatever their problems, they only showed it in their skills, and they both agreed that would be the only way to make the other understand.

"The CCG is trying something. An experimental new method in recruiting new investigators and it's based off you." Arima explained calmly, while dodging stabs at his face.

"Me?" Kaneki jumped back, making the kick Arima sent his way miss.

He two becomes blurs as they meet the distance between them with their staves barely holding on. Arima only holds the staff with one hand yet Kaneki still strained to hold it back with his two hands, without even exerting effort, Arima shifts his weight, forcing Kaneki back even more.

"They want more of you." The white haired genius investigator said plainly.

It didn't come often, but ever since Arima became a ghoul investigator while still in high school the bar was forever raised. More and more started believing that the younger a person started, the greater their chance of becoming a stronger and more capable investigator.

Kaneki's career only cemented that theory, killing ghouls before he could even reach the tender age of nine.

"Why don't they just give you a new sidekick? I'm sure they can learn allot from the God of Death as a mentor. I know I did." Kaneki reasoned. That last one didn't come out as a compliment though.

"I told them that."

Kaneki waited. "And?"

"They said I wasn't socially capable enough for such a task." That would by far be the biggest understatement Kaneki had ever heard Arima say.

Kaneki lashes out, sending a spin kick, it didn't land but it did its job a gave Kaneki back some room.

"Does Wasshu really thinks letting kids fight is a good idea?" he was one thing, an army of underage children was a media sensation waiting to happen. Hell, Kaneki's could even qualify as child labor in some countries, Japan included. "I can see the lawsuits already."

"You won't be training a child of that's what you're worried about." Arima said returning his quarter staff returns to his side, on-guard and baiting all at once.

But Kaneki took the hint, if they don't hit each other after three seconds pass, the match was over, and they could remove their blind folds.

"Who will they partner me up with?" Kaneki asked, finally able to look his father in the eye as he waited for the answer.

Arima's stoic look neither denied nor confirmed his suspicions.

"She's the daughter of someone you worked with previously."

That surprised Kaneki, whether it was the gender of his new partner or the fact it wasn't another orphan like him. Well atleast, he hopes she didn't just become an orphan

"Really, who?"

* * *

"Akira Mado. Good to finally meet you." The woman before him bowed politely after her introduction. There was a slight pause, before Kaneki returned the courtesy, his head still trying to process the fact that Mado has a daughter who looks so... _Not-Mado._

"I hope we kill as many ghouls as possible."

On second thought, the family resemblance does show.

' _I'm going to need some more coffee after this.'_ After an all-night extermination spree coffee should be a human right, he already has a place in mind, an old cozy looking café in the 20th ward. He'll just have to get rid of his new partner before he can get there.

End of First Chapter.

* * *

 **AN: That's it for now, I could give more but honestly the structure feels weird already. I needed to show everything relevant at once because I'm not sure how people would like this story as it's mostly Devil May Cry and Tokyo Ghoul with Arima and Kaneki having a Batman and Robin.**

 **But if you love it, just write a review so I can post the other chapters I've already finished.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Future Mrs. Kaneki.

Songs:

Pumped Up Kicks

Some Nights

99 Luftballons

* * *

Fate is a cruel mistress.

That is an unrelenting truth all psychological-horror authors milk to the bone when they envision their characters.

Take Sen Takatsuki, the reigning queen of making fate ruin the lives of countless of people- in fiction.

The revered young writer just loves making her characters suffer with every page, using such miniscule details and fateful encounters to develop a narrative so cruel that it makes readers suffer just as much the characters that very universe itself wants to break in her works

As though she wanted all her characters to suffer in the most artful way possible, Sen blurs the line between reality and fiction in such a way that makes it feel her works could and would happen, which makes her readers wish they never happen in real life; a rare class of fiction that should remain in fiction for the sake of people's mental health.

But like all great works, none of it is original. For the whole world is satire; all she's doing is recording fate in her bitchiest.

And fate was at her bitchiest four years ago, when Ken Kaneki walked home from school one night, it was just after first day at a new school, the second time he's been the new kid this school year. On his back was a guitar case carrying a much more _physical_ instrument.

His loner image was more than established, always the new kid, never a friend. Kaneki gazed one last look at the building he'd already grown attached to, something about it very appealing to the bookworm.

But his work was too important for his personal feelings, so he killed that desire as he walked further away from the school of his dreams.

Like it or not, ghouls come in all ages. And some teenaged ghouls go to school, and being the only investigator old enough to pass as a high school student meant Kaneki had to be the first line of defense against ghouls for every high school in Tokyo.

And there are allot of high schools.

It was fitting this is how he'd spend the best years of his life, just like his dad.

It was said when he was still in high school student, Kishou Arima killed a ghoul while in the middle of class with nothing more than a well-sharpened pencil.

Was that possible?

No.

Did Kaneki believe it?

Yes.

Waiting at a stop light he ponders on what to report back to his boss Marude.

There weren't any tangible signs of ghouls in this school. The report could just be some prank made by an idiot hoping class would be cancelled.

Just great, his entire student life once again reset because someone didn't want to take a test.

Kaneki pulls out his music player, the songs he liked weren't your standard Japanese teen's type of music about idols or pre-packed pop, and they weren't some high-end genius' Classical Music Playlist consisting of Beethoven or Bach either.

Kaneki found foreign songs more enticing, reading while listening to music often lead to failing to do one or the other if they were the same language as lyrics are often processed instead of the text or vice-versa. By listening to a song you don't understand, you can still listen to something while reading a page-turner.

 **Pumped Up Kicks** blares in his headphones at an unhealthy volume, he didn't get much of what the lyrics meant, but he enjoyed the catchy baseline, and the really high-pitched chorus, and most of all the melody just makes you want to walk with a spring in your step.

There was another reason why Kaneki needed to play music when he felt the need to relax; his hearing was simply _too_ well-trained, Arima taught him to value his hearing more than his sight when exterminating ghouls, meaning his hearing has been dialed up, making everyday life sounding much more detailed, bombarding Kaneki with sensory information:

People's mindless chatter sound like next-door shouting competitions; noticeable and uncomfortable to listen to.

Trains sound like constant battle of metal.

Simply sitting close to a person typing on an old keyboard sounded like a giant insect's creeping noises to Kaneki's heightened hearing.

The heavy music simply dulled it back, letting Kaneki manage the input from his ears and read his books in peace.

Before long Kaneki was humming to the song, ignoring everyone on the sidewalk giving him weird glances.

Waiting at the stop sign, the song ends and Kaneki still hadn't had his fill yet of the song a repeats it.

"That song is about a school shooting you know." A girl says to him. How he could hear her through the music he'll never know.

"W…What?" he said in what could be his best impression of a baby dear.

* * *

 **Present Day.**

Kaneki's phone plays Pumped Up Kicks, his earphones resonating that last note as Kaneki comes bac to the reality of his profession, arriving at the entrance of the 20th Ward's Branch Office just in time for the song to end. A sign of good luck for most music lovers.

After a few years, Kaneki's overly sensitive ears annoyed him less and less, enough that he could perform the most boring part of his job without the need for an awesome guitar rift blocking the annoying scratching noise a pen makes when on paper.

Allowing him to perform the most underrated task of his career path; paper work. And as boring as it may sound, Kaneki was surprisingly good at it, one of the few non-violent skills he could boast to his civilian friends…if he had any.

In the day time, there isn't much difference between a ghoul investigator of any rank and an average Japanese salaryman and the CCG looked just like any other private corporation or government office, it's employees, though armed firearms, still wore formal office attire.

Kaneki himself wore a tailored charcoal-grey suit that he hoped made him look older, compared to his fellow investigators who predominantly wore navy or blue suits to appear younger.

Another parallel salary men and investigators have is they both worked in tiny, soul-crushing, cubicles that a majority of the CCG's employee's- namely the Bureau Investigators.

Kaneki was standing beside his chair, piles of paper work just asking for him to slam them on the table, practically begging him to do them for hours non-stop. He'd finish them all. All he needed was the day to finally start. The work day didn't officially begin yet, he and his co-workers were still waiting for the boss to arrive to start the briefing for today's agenda.

To satiate himself, Kaneki buries his attention to a pocket book he bought for some light reading, a thin little thing that was comedic in its attempts to appeal to the target audience of Ghoul Investigator fanatics.

The light novel was about a ghoul investigator, only in name at least, as this was one of the most inaccurate interpretations of the job. It was comedic to an actual investigator like Kaneki, and infuriating in some parts. Like how ghouls are represented as Hollywood zombies. And Ghoul Investigators nothing more than over-exaggerated black trench coat wearing vampire hunters with an endless amount of one liners.

"Who wrote this?" he asked, shaking his head at the depiction of the climactic fight scene involving a city skyscraper collapsing from a ghoul and an investigator punching each other to death Dragon Ball Z style.

Right as the digital clock on the wall hit exactly 8:00, Brach Director Kamemochi arrives, an ordinary employee by CCG standards who's expected to retire in the coming year. The old man walked with a more precise gape than usual, the uncomfortable kind when wanting to impress.

Kaneki would soon figure out why.

"Before we begin, I'd like first to introduce someone; our newest member. Please come in."

The door opens and a single yet distinctive clink of a heeled shoe makes Kaneki dart his eyes from his book.

At that moment a young woman walks through the door, an air of diligence about her, she wore a neutral expression where a smile would look better, her paleness made Kaneki stare at her longer than he'd care to admit, the way her skin contrasted so well with her dark business suit, how her hair was just as fair and youthful at the same time practical was an enigma in itself, and her purple eyes, a contrast to the color of life as they made it look as though she even had control over her genetics to suit her theme.

"This is Second Class, Akira Mado. From today on she will be assigned to this ward's branch."

"It's nice to meet you all. I will be joining the investigation as the subordinate of First-Class Investigator Ken Kaneki."

At the end of her sentence, all of Kaneki's curiosity became annoyance.

Kaneki's sour attitude ruined the paper work for him, it became rushed and half-hearted, evident in his sloppy handwriting and lack of the usual finesse in vocabulary he preserved only for the written aspects of the job. He wanted to get this done fast so he could have a word with his superior.

"I don't want a partner." Kaneki made clear, he didn't just get promoted to a senior investigator just to be partnered to a junior investigator.

Besides, he already has a partner, and he's got Kaneki's back- covered most of it, even. Technically, he has three partners if you include his handguns.

"But you're still getting one anyway." All of Kaneki's bosses never liked him to begin with, so Kaneki should've expected this harshness from Kamemochi. "In light of your recent promotion, it is only fitting you should have firsthand experience leading a subordinate." There was logic in his words. Whether he agreed to the new system or not, as a Senior Investigator, Kaneki would one day have to lead an entire squad during an operation, it was expected of him, and having a single subordinate to look after would give him just enough to get his feet wet. The problem was that Kaneki thought he'd have at least a year before getting a partner again. Bowing his head to his boss's order, Kaneki leaves the office, also leaving with a question he already knew the answer to.

"This was Special Class Arima's idea, to have her as my partner wasn't it?"

Kaneki took the silence as a yes.

As far as Kaneki knows, there have been three new young additions to the CCG's ranks, the test subjects included a barely legal serial killer man-child named Juuzo who decided to use his homicidal tendencies for good instead of evil, an orphan boy by the name of Kuki Urie, a mere child obsessed with revenge and was rushed into training, now currently assigned to some hard-ass in Division II, and lastly, arguably the sanest of the batch of new Child of Deaths in the making; Akira Mado.

Who just so happened was standing right outside the door listening in to Kaneki's conversation.

"How much of that did you hear?" Kaneki asked his patiently waiting partner, her expressionless face made even a mask envy of how well it hid her emotions.

Not liking the way this was starting, Kaneki sighs, deliberately showing his tiredness, and lightening the mood by showing her that he wasn't the indestructible second-coming of Arima.

Offering his hand to create a better first meeting, Akira accepts it. Starting over.

"Ken Kaneki. Investigator First-Class, 19 years old, My hobbies are reading, and killing ghouls, I hope we can get along well." The way he said it sounded more like how a high school boy would greet a new transfer student instead of a new work subordinate.

Apparently there was a reason to that.

A look of surprise flashes in her eyes, followed by a creepy cheerfulness as she says "We're the same age, then."

' _Sure we are'_ Kaneki thinks sardonically, they could have been classmates in high school. Hell, if the world wasn't so messed up they'd both be attending university as freshmen, they'd probably have classes together. He'd be taking literature like a good little bookworm and she'd be the ice-queen taking law or something that ends with working behind a desk and wearing a suit.

They'd probably never meet, but who knows, they might actually been friends if life let them in the fantasy world where ghouls don't threaten humanity.

It's funny how crapsack the world is.

"Akira Mado. Good to meet you."

Kaneki only shudders a little with the last name, he always knew Mado had a daughter, the few times he talked about her Kaneki could only assume that she was still in middle school, guess Mado was actually still treating her as though she was still a child. That would make an embarrassing story later, Kaneki was sure of it.

Aside from the name and hair though, the investigator in Kaneki still wasn't entirely convinced she was the Mad-Eye's daughter.

"I hope we get to kill as many ghouls as possible." She smiles cheerfully, thinking of one in particular dead and its murderous organs stuffed in an attaché case.

Cancel the paternity test, Kaneki was now convinced.

"I'll be in your care for now on~." The way she put it made the young senior investigator's mind go haywire at the implications and suggestions she deliberately added. Somehow Kaneki knew this was not going to end well for the both of them.

Sadly, that prediction wasn't wrong.

At 11:50, it was lunch for Kaneki and the other investigators not currently assigned to an assignment. Immediately at the sound of his peers stretching out from their desks, Kaneki stretched as well, the desk lag getting to him as well.

As usual, his co-workers were headed off to lunch together, as most company employees often do. Kaneki stood and straightened his coat, reaching up to loosen his tie. In that exact moment, the aforementioned group of colleagues pass by his cubicle on their way to the exit, and one of them stops in their tracks, the others following suit.

"Ah, Kaneki-san!" a man whose name Kaneki remembers to be Shirogane chimes in. The others behind him echo in greeting, though a little more reserved. Kaneki only nods, a little uncomfortable at the sudden, long and close range bombardment of social interaction.

Shirogane seemed unfazed. "Well me and the others were just about to head out for lunch."

Given the sudden invitation, Kaneki paused, mouth opening but his voice not coming through.

The men before him visibly tensed. One of them proceeded to tap Shirogane's shoulder with a lowly muttered "Shirogane-san…"

Shirogane only turned and shrugged, not quite expecting Kaneki's reaction.

Or the apparent lack thereof.

Silence meant a lot of things. Most of the time it was a sign of respect when you put in an effort to not be too loud in public places. Other times it was a sign of visible comfort. But if it were coming from the heir apparent of the world's strongest investigator, the imagination can't help but move a little… _all over the place._

To the investigators before him, Kaneki's silence could only mean three things.

First was that he wasn't really the social type, which was understandable considering their profession, and that he was using the silence to contemplate an excuse to not join or the nicest form of rejection he can muster.

Second was that it was out of arrogance because he was First Class Investigator Kaneki Ken, the Child of Death, ghoul slayer of the highest caliber, and that meant he was too good to eat with them. None of them would admit out loud that they agree.

And lastly, the silence was just byproduct of Arima's upbringing and his godliness through and through. Which _also_ made him too good to eat with them.

Meanwhile, Kaneki was only thinking about the best way to accept the invitation, and maybe, just maybe he could invite them all to his favorite café, the cozy one nestled just in the 20th which had the best coffee. Already, Kaneki had fantasies of making the old coffee shop their own usual spot, for all their lunches.

But sadly Shirogane-san and the others would never know that. Sighing at the self-inflicted rejection, Shirogane just smiles. "Maybe some other time then, Kaneki-san." And just like that he leaves, the others trailing behind him.

Kaneki stops in his train of thought and watches them leave. A hint of regret somewhere in him only to have the thirst for a good cup of coffee overpowering that already accustomed negative emotion.

Many in the CCG wondered why such a promising investigator like Kaneki would be assigned to a pretty peaceful ward like the 20th ward. Some believed it was due to a covert operation by the Heads of the CCG and the Washuu family.

Others found it nothing more than ammunition to use against Kaneki and by extension Arima.

A small percentage believed that, deep down, the First-Class was just doing as he pleased. They were right.

Kaneki just did it because he wanted to.

After graduating high school with a collection of school uniforms from every school in Tokyo, Kaneki was relieved of the undercover duty and for his service he was given the choice to choose to be assigned to any assignment he wanted.

Many had bet that he'd jump straight into Arima's 0- Squad, to officially join Arima and be the CCG's ultimate two-man team. No matter what any may say, beyond the rumors and urban legends, the CCG knew that Special Class Arima was still just a man, and men die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but he was as mortal as the rest of the investigators. Having Kaneki could, in simple terms be insurance. If Arima were to die in battle, or by other means, Kaneki would still be there to fill in the enormous void left.

It was a morbid thought but it was a possibility that had to be addressed one day and hopefully, Kaneki was the solution to that eventuality.

A few, Arima included, expected that Kaneki would make his own squad, one that would rival even Arima's own in terms of eliminating ghouls. Just the thought of the Second Arima making a squad of his own made more than just a handful of the CCG excited. Having one elite ghoul extermination unit is good, two is even better. A few junior officers even aspired to be a member of the conceptualized squad, thinking it as an exciting milestone in their careers, already imagining the future under Kaneki's command.

No one knew which would have been the better option. The office politicians in the CCG held their breaths in anticipation of what the Heir Apparent to the tittle of World's Strongest Investigator. As a promising figure like Kaneki Ken's decision would no doubt make a lasting effect to the CCG.

It was only First-Class Investigator Kureo Mado that predicted the boy's course of action. No one believed him, even his partner was skeptical but it all went as he expected.

Kaneki Ken assigned himself to the 20th ward.

The CCG equivalent of assigning himself to a tropical island resort.

A decision that made more than a few people unhappy, even if he could choose any assignment he wanted, Kaneki is a Ghoul Investigator and not a Bureau Investigator, that meant he should be assigned to the Main Office and ready to be deployed at a moment notice, not taking it easy at a docile ward like the 20th.

The promotion to Senior Investigator should have motivated him further, and not wallow away at the safest ward in Tokyo.

But he had his reasons, A ward like the 20th was, by Kaneki admission, had everything an investigator need to survive.

One of those being, the nectar of the gods: coffee. Because other than being a safe ward, the 20th had one thing it had going for it that no other ward had.

 **Anteiku**

Kaneki entered the little run-down coffee shop, the jingle of the door's chime quietly ringing to signal his patronage. He relaxes at the sound, taking in the atmosphere with a small smile on his lips.

The invigorating smell of coffee enters Kaneki's nose and just like that his sleeplessness fades from bearable to unnoticeable. There's light chatter coming from the few people who were at the tables, but it was a quiet, comforting sort of ambiance compared to the hushed whispers inside the many shops near the CCG buildings. He immediately feels at home, for some reason, shoulders feeling lighter despite the weight of the guitar case digging into them. The hard leather case seemed innocent enough, a perfect place to hide a quinque in plain sight.

Kaneki shifts to lift the said case off his back, opting to carry it by the handles on his way in, before taking a step forward.

Like always he gets a polite greeting from the staff, this time it was the elderly manager.

"Welcome to Anteiku."

The sweet old manager gets a smile from Kaneki as a reply, and then heads for his usual table just next to the window.

He moves to the chair across his usual seat to set his case as gently as he can against the wall. The result is a clatter loud enough to startle the people around him from their quiet conversations and give him looks. Kaneki only raised a hand in apology with a shy, easy-going smile, and just like that everyone goes back to their business.

From there he makes his way towards his usual chair, removing his white coat to rest on the back of it and loosening his tie a little more before finally settling on the wooden seat, already worn down and slightly molded to the shape of his bottom and thighs.

He lets out a quiet but contented sigh. There definitely was an ulterior reason why Kaneki chose this seat, though he could never exactly pinpoint what it was.

Maybe it had something to with it being in its own secluded corner in the shop, away from all the other regulars and just the right amount of quiet ambiance? The short distance between it and the counter, ensuring that he always got his order hot and fresh? The beautiful view of the busy street outside for his guilty pleasure of people watching?

He internally let out a scoff. Who was he even kidding?

Kaneki knew for a fact that it had nothing to do with the quiet or the fresh coffee or the view and just about everything to do with the waitress who's assigned to wait that table every time he went there.

As if on cue she's walking toward him now, mini notepad and pen out and ready as soon as he sat himself down.

The waitress/ junior barista of the old coffee shop, Touka, as her name tag proudly said. She moved gracefully, navigating through the tables and chairs on his way to him with masterful movements, each step as precise and coordinated as even the best investigator. Not that, Kaneki was staring at her movements, of course not, no, that would be creepy.

Many say that a stripper or any female in the business of selling flesh would be what all men would want to see and keep for themselves.

Clearly, they've never been to a café with a cute barista behind the counter.

There was just something about how they'd greet you kindly and engage you in small talk, the way they move in in meticulous fashion, and another feature that makes them appealing is the uniforms they were, outfits which are often overshadowed by much more common fetishes like maids, and schoolgirl outfits. But added an apron to that uniform and then they're practically wife-bait to any man of marrying age.

Because as the saying goes, the way to man's heart in through his stomach, and nothing goes straight to the stomach faster than coffee.

And there she goes, flashing him a smile.

"Welcome back. The usual?"

And there goes his higher brain function as well. Kaneki bit his tongue, sure he was going to stutter. "Hello, Touka-chan." He managed a nod. "And yes please."

Smoother than the ice in the middle of the arctic. Nice.

Touka-chan nods back, smile still perfectly in place. "Alright coming right up." She said as she tucked the pen and pad back into her apron pocket without even bothering to jot down his order. She looks back up at him. "I'll be right back." She said with a small bow and before Kaneki knew it she had already set off to the bar.

And like the fool he is, he stares after her as she proceeds to prepare his order.

The _usual_ was just a tall sized Americano with cream and a roast beef sandwich. Kaneki wasn't necessarily picky over his coffee preferences per se. Coffee was coffee, and as long as it had enough caffeine to get him through the day it should be good enough. The same applied with food. The only reason why he chose that order specifically (and not to mention quite frequently) was because it took the shortest time to prepare, and as result would have her back at his table the soonest.

In short, Kaneki had it really, _really_ bad.

He doesn't really know that much about Touka save for the fact that she was still in high school and that she only did shifts during the weekends. Also the fact that she was cute but he was sure that everyone knew that.

It had taken less than a month for them to fall into routine, that was certain as well. He'd walk in, take his usual seat. She'd follow up at his table as soon as she was done at the counter or with another customer. They'd have small talk before she'd go back to the counter and make his order and he'd pull out a book as she makes his way back to him.

That part of the routine is currently in progress, his copy of _Black Goat's Egg_ opened to the recent page and Touka carrying the tray with his order towards him. She set down the tray on his table as soon as she arrived, and proceeded to put his plate and mug on the wood. "Here you go," she said before standing back upright to give another short bow and head back to the bar.

From here Kaneki would nod back, then start reading.

For him, _reading_ was pretending to follow the lines of the pages with his eyes when they were actually focused on the barista just a few feet away and using the book in front of him as a scapegoat to boldly watch Touka as she moved around the café.

Yes. He has it really, _really_ bad.

Whichever the case, he'd keep reading and finish his lunch with his other hand for the remainder of his lunchbreak, swallowing bites of roast beef and taking sips of coffee as he tries not to smile like a creep as he just watches her like the infatuated one he was.

Yes, a grown-ass man like him was head over heels for this beautiful high schooler who works part-time at his favorite café.

Infatuation aside, to an avid reader, Kaneki can just see the cliché plot lines that's happening in the work of fiction that was his life. The rom-com gods sure do love the saying "If it's not broken, don't fix it." As he was walking in all the right routes for a cheesy, coffee-shop romance, Customer x Waitress story. And from in his dangerous line of work, a tragedy tag could fit in nicely in the mix.

Kaneki could already smell the writers and producers running at him and wanting to adopt his sad, maybe illegal, excuse of a love story into a movie.

 _It's not so bad._ Kaneki thought. _At least I'm not a huge idiot and propose to her right off the bat._ He laughs at his own joke. _Cause seriously who's brave enough to pull that stunt off?_

Besides, whatever Kaneki was feeling, he'd felt it before. Seven times in fact. He knew how easy it is to fall for a pretty girl, and how just as easy it is to fall _out_ of a girl. Every feeling of affection he's ever had on a girl just, one day vanished. Faded back to the reality of the life of a Ghoul Investigator.

Around half past twelve the sandwich would be finished and his drink would be almost empty, leaving him with no other excuse to keep staying at Anteiku. So around this time Kaneki would hastily finish the last few sips, gather his things and ask for a glass of water at the bar before leaving the café premises.

And of course, he can't leave without waving a pretty girl goodbye first.

He set the glass down back on the bar and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, flashing a smile at the barista before him as she wiped the countertop. "I'll be off now." He said, mustering the most natural looking smile he could. Touka looks up and gives him a bow with a smile of her own.

"I'll see you next time, then. Thank you for your patronage." The words despite being common etiquette for any waitress, still sent a pleasant tingle up his spine anyways. A tingle, Kaneki knew won't always be there. Even so, he managed a wave, adjusted the guitar strap over his shoulder, and headed out.

Yoshimura-san was at the door, and opening it in anticipation for him, to which Kaneki nodded gratefully to. Hope to see you again, Kaneki-kun." The older man would say every day without a fail. Kaneki would manage a nod before actually stepping out the door, and would silently continue his pace towards the CCG building and back to his shift, paying no mind to Tokyo's crowded streets and the people that brushed by him along the way.

At least, that's how it was on any other day.

But today? Today felt a little _different_.

As soon as he stepped out on the street, he felt a chill crawl and twist its way up his spine and make the hairs on the back of his neck stand on edge as he walked past someone near the entrance. Investigator senses kicking in, he spun to the source, instinctively reaching for the case behind his back.

The only thing he saw was blur purple before it disappeared into the crowd.

Kaneki kept staring off at the distance before lowering his hand and continuing his way. Questions going through his mind, most of them about his sleep schedule probably causing his sudden _feeling._

Unless he's suddenly become clairvoyant, Kaneki dreaded going back to the office now. Because if he did suddenly get a future seeking ability, there is something bad waiting for him when he gets back to the Branch Office, because right now, Kaneki had a very bad feeling about this.

Waiting at the traffic light, a car with a government issue spy black paint job breaks in front of him. Kaneki was sure he had read this in a spy thriller before.

What happens next would be a pretty girl on the wheel telling him to get in. The government had a mission for him or something, and the girl was a honey pot to take him to the mission briefing, probably with some flirting on the way.

Imagination running a few scripts too wild, Kaneki barely registered that the back seats widow had rolled down, and the face of his new partner came in to view.

 _She's going to tell me to get in…3…2…1_

"First Class Kaneki, the director said he wants the both of us to get in the vehicle, it appears we have our first mission."

He wasn't exactly spot on, but it was kind right. "Where to? Or is it an _"I'll tell you on the way"_ kind of thing?"

It was strange, not every case needed got a car ride. That only meant a restricted area that can only be accessed by CCG personal that was very far away from public transportation. Kaneki had a few guesses, one being the most obvious.

With patient expression on, Akira replies "I'll tell you on the way."

Kaneki gets in. Adding only one thing as the car began to drive to their destination.

"You know we're going to take you on a field test, right?"

" _Field test_ , sir?"

He begins to elaborate "We put you in a situation where you either live or die. Probably in a ghoul gang's lair" He says in the most casual manner. Already in a comfortable position he plays a song befitting a car ride "No big deal."

And **Some Nights** plays away, and Kaneki begins to hum along, all while Akira stares at him, not knowing exactly what to say and becoming unable to as he engrosses himself in the song.

Unable to control himself from signing alone, a line of lyrics escapes Kaneki's lips "Whoa oh oh… What do I stand for? Most nights I don't know anymore..."

He really doesn't.

Not anymore.

* * *

 **Four Years Ago**

"Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People." She said in enticing air of intellect and cultured taste. "It's about a tortured outcast murdering people with his father's revolver."

"Oh, I-I had no idea…"

"Don't worry…" she comes close to his ear. "I want to kill people too."

* * *

"And kid's that's how I met your…"

HIMY theme plays.

Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa…pa pa, da da da da, da da da da da…

End of Chapter.

* * *

 **AN: I'll be honest this was just a plot bunny that let me write nothing but fight scenes, and I mostly just ignored it and kept writing other scenes to a bare minimum. But I realized that I wasn't being fair to the people who wanted more of this story, so I'll update as much as I can. Also my humor can be a bit skewed at times, hence the sudden How I met Your Mother joke you see above. It's up to your interpretation.**

 **Also, every single candidate for Kaneki's wife has been shown or at least briefly mentioned.**

 **Also Kaneki has a few Psychological and Social Issues and just a bit of a Teenage Rebellious Phase going for him. So expect some OOC. But don't worry, I'll mess him up to become the character you know and feel sorry for...hopefully.**


End file.
